Andrew owes a retrospective $1 mil

So I really like money. I really like to go out. Essentially, most of spending money I make goes to going out. Not only drinks, cabs, etc but clothes and make up to sport on a night out. I think we all know what this is about.

Instead of foolishly throwing away money on going out, some really savy and respectable celebrities have been charging. Heidi

Montag didn't go to her sisters birthday party because she wasn't paid, and Lindsay Lohan made $70 000 to have her birthday party at some club. Now, Emma and I are essentially the greatest people. So now is your chance to take part in a really good deal!

2 Party Girls for the Price of 1!!

We are reasonably less washed up looking then Lindsay Lohan.

We charge only $25 000 for us to show up and party with you!

For this you get one irresponsible,

annoying, loud and obnoxious bundle of chaos and one wise-cracking smart ass who knows how to bust a move.

And we bring our own alcohol.

We also have this coupon for our customers:

See you on the paid party circuit!

I wish my father cared this much

Lindsay Lohan is a beautiful angel and a sweet tempered ingenue who knows how to have a good time. However, her look has changed a lot over years. Emma and I disagree on when Lindsay Lohan was her best looking. Emma thinks she peaked as a chubby creepy ginger kid in "Mean Girls" or the lipstick-on-a-pig look in "Just My Luck" but I like her post-anorexia glam when she's just a little coked out in "Bobby" and with bigger boobs and a little more drug enhanced in "Georgia Rule".

Fat Ginger:

Gorgeous, Slender, Beautiful, Perfect etc:

What do you guys think?